Dheeme Dheeme 🐦‍⬛🌊

May my songs keep flowing in loving devotion to my Master

YouTube Video - Dheeme Dheeme

This video is from November 2024, when I was at Sri Badrika Ashram doing Sri Suktam Sadhana under the guidance of my Guru, Om Swami.

A fellow disciple, Priya, and I walked down to the River Giri. As we sat amidst the rocks, feeling the gentle murmuring splashes of the water beneath our feet, Priya asked me to sing something. The calm of Giri Ganga and the fragrant surroundings were irresistible, my vocal cords simply had to join in.

I couldn’t gather the courage to post this video on YouTube earlier because I had gotten bald a few days before the sadhana. It was something I had been wanting to do for years, and I found the perfect timing to do it. I didn’t inform my parents about it lest they freak out, and I would have been angry before the sadhana- the least preferred state, I feel, in which to begin a sadhana.

But the real reason I didn’t upload this video, even months and now years afterwards, is that I feared “trouble” (yes, not judgement). I didn’t want to explain to my friends or relatives why in the world I had gone bald. I didn’t want the trouble of the guilt my family might try to evoke in me by asking why I would upload a video where I am bald, which, according to them, would bring shame to them in their “society.”

But after more than two years, I feel something within me has changed. One can never truly stay out of trouble in this material world anyway. Now, with the grace of my Guru, I am simply less troubled by the troubles that come my way.

Here’s the reason why I should have done it then- but am doing it now:

It’s one of my top ten favourite songs ever, and I think I have sung well in this recording, especially considering the song is really difficult for my level of vocal skills.

But more than that, as you can hear in the melodic notes, the blue whistling thrush (a Himalayan bird) is singing along in the background. It was the most memorable performance ever for me as a singer, and I simply couldn’t control my smile- as if Mother Nature Herself was around, and another of Her musical baby birds was accompanying me as I tried to hit the higher notes of this beautiful song.

I have always sung this for Swamiji, and this song most aptly describes my feelings for my Master- how He has moulded me into who I am today. The guidance and love that I have received from Him are indescribable in words.

दिल को देवता जो लागे
सर झुका है जिसके आगे
टूटे ना बुत ये कभी …

How do I thank you with mere words or melodies, Swamiji?

I always fall short.

But still, to quote Tagore,

“I touch by the edge of the far-spreading wing of my song thy feet which I could never aspire to reach.”