Modern beings

in pursuit of an elusive self

When we are here, we brood over the past- what could’ve been, what should’ve been! When we were in the past, we fancied a spotless future- a mirage, drifting far from reality.

How nothing ever satiates this thirst for more, this longing for something else than this, which is.
Whatever we choose, whatever we leave behind- nothing ever truly suffices.

There’s always a void inside, driving us frantically from one city to another, from one relationship to another, from one job to another- carrying the same accumulated baggage, ignorantly believing it would feel lighter this time.

But it all boils down to the same cold sadness again, outlasting even the endless change.

How far have we come from ourselves! This hollowness, this lack, this incompleteness has become a part of our beings.

The biting loneliness we feel amidst those we love (and who love us) is the most terrifying place to ever be.

Where am I
In a vast dark abyss
Slowly engulfing me
Into its threatening void 
No light no sky
Too far from the self
A terrifying numbness

The mind extends its 
Restless arms 
Shouting aloud for a helping hand
To be pulled out of this hell
But all in vain

Will it destroy me 
Just like it did before
How will I stand again
On these fragile feet 
It is so tiresome
This ceaseless labour 
That life demands.

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Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash